I Have Been Hiding

I HAVE BEEN HIDING


I have been hiding

Buried in a sea of discomfort 
A million pounds of pressure
Heavier every day

I have been hiding

Trying to hold my grief and rage
Inside
Under the surface
Out of sight 
Always on my mind

I have been hiding

Trying to think my way into what’s next
Instead of being in what is

I have been hiding

Wanting to preserve a sense of knowing
Wanting to have the perfect front
Waiting for the “right” words

I have been hiding
From what I know I need to do

I have been hiding
From you.

Everyday
I have known what I need to do

Everyday
I have been fighting it

Everyday
Because I am afraid

Everyday
I keep waiting for someone else to step in and lead the way

Everyday
I bite my tongue

Everyday

I hold myself still

Everyday
I run away

Everyday
I wait

Everyday
For the “perfect” words

Everyday
For the “perfect” time

Everyday

For the “perfect” opportunity

Everyday
When I know

Everyday

Is already “perfect”

Everyday
The words I have are “right”

Everyday
There are a million moments

Everyday
I can lead the way

Everyday
I have an opportunity to speak

Everyday
I can

Everyday
I am

Everyday
acting my inaction

Everyday
I have choice

Everyday
more than one

Everyday
I am the one

Everyday
I have been hiding

Until today

I have been hiding.

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