Ever since I finished the piano I've been having visions of animal masks and pieces incorporating animal/people masks. Peacocks and butterflies have been the main focus which makes sense given the imagery I was using in the piano. All of them want to be a mixture of glass and textured surfaces. Swirls of bright, eye-catching color mixed with dark, subtle undersides. The butterflies swarm and the peacock struts and blazes - feathers and fancy headdress with anger underneath.
Last night I had a really sad dream about Nana. I dreamed we were sitting on a swing together in Mom’s backyard. Her body was there, but she was still supposed to be dead. It was more like I was with her spirit. I was very emotional, crying the entire time. I was telling her about all the dreams I ever had about her. I told her about the dream where I walk through their New York Street house looking desperately for a sign of them, but cannot find anything except dust and old chips. As I told her this, I was still crying, hurting. Then I told her about the good dreams I’ve had. I told her about the dream when I meet her at a coffee house and visit with her while drinking coffee. I cried while telling her this. The really strange part of my dream was that she didn’t seem to care about anything I was telling her. She never responded. As a matter of fact, I never remember even seeing her face. All I ever saw were her shoes.
First I was with Jennifer and Lynda and some other girls from Jr. High that always made me feel inferior. We were with a group of people in some type of a valley or pit – this somehow resembled the baseball park by the house on Adams Street. We were all doing some kind of work – I’m not sure what. Then some Eskimos brought a giant whale that they had caught. The whale had already been killed and they brought us the head and large sections of blubber. The smell was quite disgusting. Then we had the idea to look inside the whale’s stomach for anything interesting. Jennifer and Lynda found some pretty polished marbles and they were bragging on them to everyone. When I went to look I found some marbles that were polished, but much smaller than the average size marble. Mine were petite and delicate - about the size of a small pearl. I found my marbles far more beautiful than Jennifer and Lynda’s marbles. But no one else would give my marbles and chance. Then I went into a house nearby and Oprah Winfrey was living there. She served me coffee and cookies.
I dreamed this very weird and scary dream. I haven’t had a bad dream in such a long time, so this was kind of weird. The dream was so bad that my entire body was numb while I dreamed it.
First I dreamed that these two ugly people who were supposed to be the ugliest people in the whole world were running this parking garage. Also, this was taking place during the 16th century. These people did not have braces, but these weird metal plates on their teeth to prevent cannibalism. See, they were cannibals also. The whole atmosphere of the dream was very dark, spooky and reeked. Weird bells were playing strange music in the background. Soon, many people were parking their cars and leaving the garage. What they didn’t know was that the two cannibals were plotting to eat half of them after torturous events! All of the people were told to run out of the garage, using all of their energy. They all tired very easily. I became one of the girls running. When we all came to the end of the dark garage, we were so tired of running, but outside of the garage, we found a small dirty stream. We were so thirsty that we drank the water, despite appearances. While I was drinking, one of the guards on a horse looked at me and decided quietly that I would be chosen to be taken off to be eaten. After I drank, I was told to walk back to my car. I was tired, however, so I crawled. When I was crawling I noticed a pattern of little devils drawn in the concrete. I was so intent on the devils, that I became hypnotized. As soon as this happened, the guard on the horse came up behind me and hit me hard behind the head, knocking me out. Then I woke up and he hit me twice more. What was funny was that I was conscious, but unable to move or speak. Then I think he gave me some injections, smothered me with slime and then looked in my eyes to see that they were bloody. Then he put a big piece of tape over my mouth. Then I woke up.
I keep having a recurring image in my dreams of moving at high speed in a train car that moves along bridges similar to those in a number of Dr. Seuss books, and always getting off at the wrong stop. The bridges travel through dark, but never blackout dark, tunnels. I'm never with anyone I know but there are people all around me on the ride and when I get off the train.
I had this really cool dream – but actually it ended very scary. I dreamed that in my bathroom under the sink and behind the back wall was a dollhouse. It had been left there 30 years ago by some children and now it was hidden inside my walls. Somehow it was built in during the construction of my apartment. When I discovered it, I was searching for something under the sink in the cabinet. I was pushing everything aside and I found this door in the very back. I opened the door and I could see into this tiny house with chairs and dolls – I was looking in the living room. It was almost creepy because it was like the dolls were really living there, alive, and suddenly they froze when I opened the door. I closed the door and left the bathroom.
Then, later in the dream, for some reason, I was in trouble. I needed a place to hide. I ran to the bathroom straight to under the sink and threw all my junk aside. I swung open the dollhouse door. I squeezed through as far as I could, but I could only get my head through the door. I was afraid of the dolls again. I feared they may bite at my head if I were to get stuck. But I was so fascinated by the dollhouse, that I didn’t fear entering.
Later in the dream, I was on a bus going home. Sara and some others (black and hispanic women) were with me. I was trying hard to tell them about my dollhouse, but they were not listening very well. Sara listened how she always does – interrupting when she had something to say. The bus was on North Main Street. A drunk black woman on the bus was hanging out the door singing. We were afraid she would fall out and then she did and was killed. We stopped the bus to talk to a police officer. He asked questions as if we were all at fault. He taunted everyone. I was angered and fussed at him.
“You don’t know what happened because you weren’t there. We are telling the honest truth!”
Then I realized I shouldn’t have spoken to him that was and I apologized quickly. We were back riding on the bus. The driver had many stops but mine was closest. She told me I owed $10. I didn’t have any money and they only took cash. I asked her to drop me in front of Kroger’s to get ATM cash. She wouldn’t, but finally she agreed. I found the ATM machine and it was like this big virtual reality game. When I put in my card, this skeleton monster appeared. He put all my options on the screen and they were all very technical terms and there were like 30 of them! I was trying desperately to read them all, but I know the bus was waiting. All these little monsters were trying to escape from the machine and kidnap me.
Finally I woke up and realized I was in my bed, not on the bus!
I was in my car driving to the I-Hop in Baytown. I needed change for a dollar to use the phone so I stopped at Mary R.’s youth camp on the way. She gave me the change I needed and I used the phone, but I don’t know who I called. I ended up staying at Mary’s for a while. When I left, I wrote her a note thanking her for her hospitality.
Then I was driving to someone’s apartment in College Station, but the street was covered with homeless people and I could barely drive my car. They would step in front of it and block me.
Then I was on a forest trail with Mom, Lizzie, Richard, Jason, and Kristen. The trail was very muddy, but had patches of beautiful, exotic flowers (maybe even prehistoric flowers because I had never seen them before). They were large with colorful, fleshy petals – a large patch would have only 2 or 3 of the unusually sized flowers. Anyway, we were walking and sometimes running along the trail. We were not sure where we were going - except Richard. He was several yards ahead of everyone and he was calm, enjoying the nature. He was walking at a very steady pace, and seemed to know exactly what he was doing and where he was going. He had his hands in his pockets and he was whistling. To me this showed his calmness. Then I ran way ahead of the group when we approached a certain spot. There was a small clearing in the forest that I was familiar with where at certain times a fairy woman, who was life size, would appear to give me guidance, direction, advice. I ran ahead to this spot and the fairy appeared. She was the actress Joan Plowright. I approached her and just hugged her. She was like my grandmother.
Then I was in a neighborhood in Baytown with Corey. It was night and we were just running around outside for some reason. I had to use the restroom so I went to one of the houses that were empty. The family was on vacation and Sacramento was there cleaning the house. He let me use the bathroom. Afterwards, I walked through their home, which was very untidy, and I began to know everything that had occurred in the house. The husband and wife had a little boy about 8 years old. He was a very bad little boy, but he only wanted his parents’ attention. He actually had a good heart. But, the little boy had recently died and his parents had grown sick and bitter with grief. The house was littered with the boy’s toys and clothes. The parents did not speak to each other. They once were in love, but now they could not find their love. Then I walked into the boys’ bedroom. Above the little boy’s bed was his ghost. The ghost was floating perpendicular to the bed, holding a teddy bear and wearing pajamas. The boy’s ghost was rocking back and forth, sleeping. I was very afraid. I know the ghost was a good spirit, but I also knew that it did not want to be disturbed. The boy’s parents were somewhat abusive to him when he was alive and now he was finally getting some rest. I heard the parents come in. I had to hide somewhere. I ran to their bedroom, which was very tidy and nearly unfurnished, almost barren. I hid on the other side of the bed away from the door. The mom came to the door and immediately saw me. She was very upset and angry that I had intruded. She became hysterical, crying, and throwing oranges at me. I sat her on the bed to calm her down and console her, because I know she was more sad than angry at me. Then the family dog walked in slowly and lay down at our feet. He looked just like Lucky. We pet him, and a few moments later he had died. His eyes were bleeding tomato sauce. The mother and I were crying on the bed together, hugging.
Then I was at Jena’s house. This was a big empty house and a little boy had died here, too. But it wasn’t Eric. In fact, Jena wasn’t really Jena. She was almost like another fairy in Jena’s body. She wore a blue skirt with a jacket and a big, fancy hat and gloves. She was packing to go to the hospital for some reason. She told me I could stay at her house, but I was too scared to stay in that house alone. So I went with her to the hospital. When we arrived in her room, we both changed into hospital gowns. Jena said she had something beautiful and exciting that she wanted to show me. She could make herself float to the top of the ceiling that was one floor above hers. She jumped in the air and began floating through our ceiling and when she reached the next ceiling, she floated back down. When she came back down, she took my hand and helped me do it. We jumped and floated through the ceiling – which was very cool – and floated through the above room and touched that ceiling. Then she wanted to teach me how to be able to stay on the ceiling. We were supposed to jump, float to the top, and then hold our breath until we were stable on the ceiling. Then we cold crawl around like there was no gravity. It took a lot of practice for me, but I was getting the hang of it.
Last night I dreamed I was walking through a large house locking all the doors (which all had 5 or 6 locks each) before I could go to bed. I walked into one room that was a little bit scary to me. There was a man sitting at a workbench painting. It was Einstein. I walked over to him to find him struggling with his work. He was using a large paint brush to do small, delicate work. When he picked up his brush to get more paint, he would drag the brush with lots of force through the orangey paint. I walked over to him and told him his painting was very nice.
He stopped and looked at me with appreciative eyes and asked, “Very nice?”
“Yes,” I told him.
Then I picked up a small and delicate brush, dipped it in the paint and handed it to him. He took the small brush and painted much better with it.
Then I was in a big house with lots of boys. We wanted the boys to taste bluebonnets but none of them would.
Then Phoebe (childhood dog) woke up and started crying. I walked into Paw-Paw’s room and rocked her to sleep. Paw-Paw asked if he could lay with her. When Phoebe was asleep I laid her beside Paw-Paw. He was very happy. There was someone else in the room with him- Shawna, I think. They were not really together, though.
I went back to the boys and finally two boys agreed to have a bluebonnet milkshake. The shakes were delicious, but mom told us she put Alpo dog food in them. I thought they were still wonderful. (Richard was one of the boys with us and he was wearing a police officer’s uniform.)
Then I went to the paint store. I picked out a stencil kit of a teddy bear chef with purple paint for our walls. The kit came with colored carpet rugs. I picked peach for our rugs. The whole set was only $9.99!
When the kit came in the delivery truck, I was so excited. Jena did not look excited. Instead of all peach carpet, we got peach, blue, white, purple and several other colors. I thought this was good, though, because we could put them all over the apartment- I knew we could work it out. Jena was pretty hopeless about it.
Then I found out that Phoebe and Paw-Paw died in bed together. I had to be the one to bury them. I began digging through the pages of a large open boo, with my shovel and then I was digging chunks off a dark, cloudy sky.
I heard Mimi ask me if I would have a Coke with her. I said, “Sure, after I finish this.”
Then there were tornadoes everywhere. We were near the ocean shore and there were many cruise ships. Everyone began jumping ship. I was on a ship with my baby. I jumped off holding my baby trying to keep her head above water. Cory was swimming ahead of us, not helping to save us.
I had a dream that I was swimming in a beautiful outdoor pool in Australia. It was a beautiful day. My sister was there and there were loads of people in the pool. As I was swimming I noticed that Hugh Jackman was also at the pool and he was watching me swim. He was swimming also and as I was stopped at the end of the pool this one time he swam up to me and commented on my swimming ability. He then told me that he had come to the pool to find a good swimmer and whoever that was would win $250. So he gave me $250 and asked me if I would like to be his swimming partner. And then unfortunately I woke up.
I guess this is more of a nightmare than a dream. All I remember is that I was in a room with my mom and someone else - very normal and nonthreatening. Then one of them asked me a question - I can't remember what about. I started to respond but when I tried to talk I could feel my teeth coming loose, my mouth full of blood, and all I could do was dribble/spit out teeth. I could feel them crunching and tumbling around in my mouth. Every time I tried to say something or cry out more teeth would come loose. Strangely it didn't really hurt but it was terrifying and I couldn't stop it. I kept trying to push them back in place with my tongue but it never worked. I ended up with one tooth left in my mouth and my hands full of all the other bloody teeth. Then I woke up.
I had an insane dream involving a childhood friend, M., and her mother T. last night. For those of you that know T. or grew up going over to the their house--T. is an amazing cook and baker; there was always something cooking/baking, and it often involved chocolate deliciousness.
So, last night I dreamt I was going over to their house to meet M. after school (although we were adults) and her mom had left a cake out for us. M. was like,... "Oh, this cake is definitely not Vegan," and I tuned out because I assumed that it involved eggs/dairy but that I would try it, so that I'd be a polite guest (also because T. is the bomb baker).
In order to eat the cake "properly," we had to pour balsamic vinegar and some kind of red wine over the cake and then cut it into these little pieces. We both do that, and I'm like "oh, are there almonds in this? I think I taste almond." And M. is like, "no, the primary ingredients are MEAT and NICOTINE." IT WAS A MEAT AND CIGARETTE cake. (I mean kudos to her mom, it looked beautiful). Anyway. I guess it's pretty clear where my temptations are these days...
This was a dream I had several times when I was younger. I'm looking across a vast distance, not really sure where I am, but I am looking out over miles of hills and mountains. They are in shades of dark reds - bright and dried-blood reds, sienna-y reds, purple-y reds, brownish-reds. Sooty or volcanic ash blacks in the shadows. On the peak of one of these hill-mountains to my left is a tree with no leaves just intricately twisted bare branches and it appears to be almost like driftwood in that dried out, salt stained way even though it is far from water and rooted in the ground.
Now, each time I had the dream there was something different on one or more of the branches. The three I remember the most are:
1) In the middle of the lowest branch on the right side of the tree was a set of bone and metal wind-chimes that made sound even when there was no breeze.
2) One time, there were bottles hanging from the bare branches. All different shapes and sizes. I'm not sure if there was anything in them.
3) One time the branches had rags tied to them. I think they were different colors at one time but all of them had that bleached and faded-from-the-sun look so I couldn't be sure. The distance didn't help with details.
No matter what, I always knew I had to make it to the tree and that eventually I would stand underneath it and understand. Understand what? I don't know. But I knew there was something I would have to do when I got there.
I was climbing a mountain. There was a spiral, stone-lined path winding around this mountain that I was following. As I neared the top, a huge face emerged from behind the mountain. It was a female face, part serpent, part woman. She was entirely made from flexible stone - looked like dark-grey granite. I don't know what the rest of her body was like - I think it was a snake - her neck was like a snake, scaled and slick, disappearing behind the mountain. She had stone serpents for hair as well - like Medusa. I feel like she asked me something but I don't remember what it was. There was an old fashioned clock hanging in the air - like a grandfather clock but slightly smaller. The hands were at 3 o'clock I believe. There was no where to hide and time was running out. That's all I remember.
I'm going to tell you about the day I died in my dreams and woke up in the morning to tell the tale. I was driving through the desert. Beautiful sunny day. Heat radiated off the sand - that mirage type heat in it's heat-mirage-y way. I was speeding down a curvy highway and in typical Wiley Coyote fashion, I drove straight off a cliff, 6 feet past the edge, and dropped straight down and exploded in a fiery crash. I watched it all happen like a movie. Next thing I knew I was walking back toward my ranch. I walked into the farmhouse and tried to tell my friend about my day but she looked straight through me. I tried to pet my cat, but my hand went right through him. I was a fucking ghost! So I went into my bedroom and stared at my bed. I couldn't lie down so I just took my left hand and hit my bed but it took a bit of time for my hand to go through. So I tried it again and it took a little longer and I felt a little bit more. I did it one more time and my hand was practically solid. And the last time my hand stopped at my blanket and couldn't go through. Then I woke up relieved to have disproved the idea that if you die in your sleep you die in real life.
There was this lake that was big but I could see the other side. The shore was lined with trees and waves were striking the shore at about one foot. And people in torpedo-shaped standing canoes jet-skied through the waves.
Transcription (In case the audio isn't working):
"There was a head floating in a field of stars and she was dreaming about a baby that turned into a heart and then sorta looked like a clove of garlic. There was something very organic about it,and the feeling of red and orange blood, and the mind was just this fertile place where anything could happen."
I had a dream last night that I took a music class with my old classmates. I knew I was going to fail the music test at the end of the class. Also.. somehow ended up lost in a city trying to find said class.
Last night's dream: I was working with some friends to rob a bank. We had a device that would let us compromise the time locks on the vault. We snuck-in in the middle of the night. There was a guard there - he spotted one of us and sounded the silent alarm. We took him hostage by zip-tying he hands. Knowing that cops were on the way...I somehow convinced the bank employee to tell the cops I was a bank employee and not involved in the robbery. I was trying to hide my bank heist gear before the police arrived. Then I woke up.
I have to preface this dream by saying my father used to have a very old car and it was one of those cars that had heaters behind your legs. So every time we would get into the car we would burn our legs.
So the dream is basically, we're going down this hill and I'm sitting in the back of the car with my sister and we're burning our legs. We're looking ahead and suddenly we realize no one is driving the car. We're going down the hill and my sister is saying "You know, it doesn't matter because we are burning our legs. So, if we crash, our legs will stop burning." That's the end of the dream.
My dream for my future is of sitting on a rocking chair on a porch looking out over a body of water. My grandchildren are running around playing on the lawn. Everything is serene and quiet.